~umerlari

it's been more than a year since my last journal entry and you could count the times i've been online after that with your fingers... i know i've been talking about how i have lots and lots of ideas in my head and none have been seen... well i do have all these "great" visions but haven't really had a chance to capture them... i'm not gonna say that i'll try to be more active and all (since we all know that's bullshit) but that doesn't mean my love for photography and art in general has changed. i'm just in a really different situation with my life right now but when ever i do come up with something that i like, i'll post it here... as if anyone cares.

and btw if you understand finnish check out jenni vartiainen's song ihmisten edessä... i'm addicted.

i made probably the biggest mistake of my life today...
i work in a local supermarket and on friday we got those cute little chilitrees to sell and the entire staff was buying them like crazy (seriously i didn't sell those to anyone who wasn't staff) and today i got one. i asked my co-workers if the chillis are eatable and they said that they are but they are so hot that it's not really smart to eat them and people usually use them for cooking.... well i like hot stuff.... and so when i came home i ate one tiny bit of one small chili.... HOLY SH....... NEVER TRY THAT! my whole mouth was on fire. i put some yoghurt in my mouth (and actually ate half a kilos of it in hopes that it would make the feeling less awful) and i had to have water in my mouth for almost an hour.... it was scary.... but it really opened my nose.... ^^

4:45 a.m.
i don't wanna go to bed. i wanna go to l.a. actually i am in bed at the moment with my laptop but i don't wanna sleep. besides i already slept for half an hour around 1 a.m. los angeles is a really inspiring city. i love it. wanna get back there. lohja sucks. not inspiring... killing mostly... except today and yesterday i went nuts and almost liked this city for a while. also what's inspiring is dame. great finnish rock... in english. you should check it out, you all know how to get your illegal downloads (do not support those!). so sun is rising already. summernights in finland are really bright but tonight it was actually dark for a while. i love dark nights. and rainy nights. i'm a night person... work starts at 4 p.m.

i should try sleeping... i don't want to. i had this not so nice nightmare last night. (dah! that's why they're called nightmares: they're not nice)

4:50 a.m. i'm off

i love planning stuff. it's so great to imagine in your head how things will figure out knowing that that's not the case really. but then as it turns out that things really aren't going the way you hoped for it's not fun anymore. in my last journal i wrote about how i've got so many ideas and i'm just waiting for summer so that i can capture what's inside my head. well now it's summer (and it's going way too fast) but things are still not happening. mostly 'cause i took a different job for the summer then i was supposed to and now i have no 1) money 2) time.... this is fun.... well atleast i added some new photos that i took i while ago... thanks go to Tuulia for those... i might end up moving them to scraps.... if i ever get a chance to do them again with better equipment...

just thought i'd let you know... i know i haven't submitted anything for quite a while. my head is full of ideas for new photos but.... IT'S STILL FUCKING WINTER OVER HERE!!! I WANT SUMMER!!! i can't wait for summer... ^_______^ and if i get a good summerjob i can buy a new camera! and get even more photos!! and tuulia is going to suffer this summer... because she's going to model for me... can't wait for summer... and then it'll be hot.. and i'll be happy... and having a heatparalysis... is that the correct word?